by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Over the last few years, I have lost friends and become estranged from relatives because of politics.  At one time, I would have thought such a thing was unimaginable.  But in the past decade, as the rift between those on either side of the culture-values-political divide has expanded, it strikes me it was inevitable.

The world, after all, saw friends and families divided in America during the 1860s and in Germany in the 1930s and now we see it here.  On the one side, we have Americans who believe that, in spite of its flaws, America is the greatest, most generous, nation on the face of the earth.  On the other side, you have Americans who believe that this nation is a house of horrors that has to be radically transformed by the radical transformer in the Oval Office, which these days should be renamed the Offal Office.

If you’re convinced, as I am, that Barack Obama is the greatest menace America has ever faced — a far graver danger than Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union or Islamic fascism, simply because they all lacked the ability or determination to destroy our Constitution — losing a few friends and relatives is no big deal.

If we only had to worry about Obama, it would be bad enough.  But he has all those moral rejects to do his bidding.  People like Pelosi, Reid, Axelrod, Waxman, Emanuel and Barney Frank, are ready and anxious to serve their lord and master.  He says, “Jump!” and they ask “How high?”  Some of us thought his earlier friends and associates — people like Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright and Tony Rezko — were bad, but we didn’t realize he’d ferret out even bigger weasels in Washington.

Psychiatrists are forever seeking the cause and cure of various diseases.  They have focused on everything from paranoia to schizophrenia and clinical depression, but I think it’s high time they turned their attention to liberalism.  It’s far more prevalent than those other mental disorders, and it appears to be particularly rampant among journalists, lawyers, union leaders and academics.  Blacks, Jews and the young, are especially susceptible.  And for reasons not entirely clear, it seems to strike hardest at people who reside near the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.  So perhaps salt water plays a part in it.

The symptoms are all too obvious.  Liberals will believe the silliest things said to them so long as they’re said by left-wing politicians, who form something of a priesthood for atheists.  Liberals accept lies about man-made global warming and the extinction of polar bears and glaciers, while simultaneously rejecting objective evidence that the earth has been cooling off for the past decade, that the polar bear population has been exploding at a rate that suggests Viagra has been introduced into their diet and that, in spite of all the hot air Al Gore has been spewing, we have as much ice as ever.

Furthermore, liberals are convinced that carbon dioxide is a dangerous pollutant and that “separation of church and state” actually exists in the U.S. Constitution.

As gullible as liberals are, there are certain things that they oppose with every fiber of their being.  Among them are nuclear energy, a strong U.S. military, Judeo-Christian values and traditions, America’s exceptionalism and, of course, the 2nd amendment.  They pay lip service to the 1st amendment, but in their hearts they believe it only pertains to them.

As bad as the run of the mill liberals are, their leaders are worse.  Against all logic, Barack Obama believes that the way for the nation to get out of debt is by spending trillions more.  He reminds me of the shopaholic who figures that if an $80 toaster is marked down to $75, all he has to do is buy 100 of them and he’ll make $500.

Speaking of making money, lately it seems like every radio show I listen to and every TV show I watch is jam-packed with commercials for gold.  I have no idea if gold is a great investment, but I keep wondering why, if it’s as good as they claim, these folks are so anxious to sell it.

I mean, if I were in the clothing business, I see where I’d want to sell as many shirts, socks and suits as I could.  I mean, what the heck am I going to do with them?  But if gold is going to keep going up, why sell it to a bunch of strangers?  Why not just hang on to it?

The other question is: If gold is going to continue rising in value because the dollar is going to plummet like a stone, what are they going to do with all those worthless greenbacks once they unload all their gold?

I mean, are they running a business or a charity? CRO

copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine.

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