by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

My ex-wife pulled off one of the most diabolical stunts ever perpetrated on one human being by another.  When she was a kid, she took it upon herself to teach her younger brother the names of all the different colors.  But for reasons known only to her and Satan, she taught him the wrong names.  So, although he wasn’t color-blind, he wound up being what you might call color-dumb, believing that purple was yellow, green was orange and white was brown.

What brought this to mind was discovering that it was the late Tim Russert who labeled liberal states blue and conservative states red.  Inasmuch as red had long represented the Soviet Union and the politics of those lunkheads around the globe who were devoted to Communism, I wonder if Russert had intentionally set out to muddy the waters or if he, too, had had a sinister older sister.

A great many people, including right-wingers who should know better, have given Obama high marks for antagonizing his liberal base by deploying 30,000 troops to Afghanistan.  For one thing, General McCrystal had started out requesting 80,000 additional men and then lowered his request to 40-60,000 when it became obvious that Obama, even after spending two years insisting that Afghanistan, unlike Iraq, was a good war that had to be won, actually believed that he could personally beguile Al Qaeda and the Taliban as easily as he had America’s lap dog media.

For another thing, there was no political risk for Obama.  Did anyone think that his core constituency was going to desert him in 2012 and vote for, say, Sarah Palin?  The truth is, Obama could order the military to bomb London, Paris and Rome, and his liberal disciples would continue to sing his praises.

Unlike Republicans, who will stay home on election day if the party nominee doesn’t pass a litmus test of political purity, liberals will fall into line for any cretin who has a (D) after his or her name.  Actually, when you realize how many agnostics and atheists are liberal, it’s amazing how religiously devout they are when it comes to politicians.  So it is that in every election — even without the evil machinations of the SEIU, ACORN and the Chicago machine — the party of really stupid people has a definite advantage.

Although left-wingers regard themselves as brilliant and sophisticated, they actually place the likes of Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Waxman, Kerry, Murtha, Leahy, Frank, Conyers, Waters, Biden, Lee and Dodd, on pedestals.  It sort of reminds one of aborigines prostrating themselves to elegies made of mud and straw.

Speaking of Obama, I have finally caught on to why everything he proposes, from the stimulus plan to health care reform, always comes with a price tag of 800 to 900 billion dollars.  It’s the same reason that retailers so often sell stuff for $19.99 or $99.99.  It’s all intended to con us.  Just as we’re supposed to think we got the t-shirt for less than $20 and the sweater for under $100, we’re supposed to be grateful that at least Washington’s latest lousy idea isn’t going to cost us a trillion dollars.

It’s a shame that politicians are a necessary evil.  Some are more necessary than others, but, for the most part, they’re just plain evil.

In fact, being a half-full glass kind of guy, I’d like to think that every time a politician lies, an angel gets his wings. CRO

copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine.

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