by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles
I noticed recently that Barack Obama was holding out an olive branch to the Taliban. He claimed to recognize that some of them were not as radical as others. I find it odd, though, that he can somehow spot nuances in terrorists 7,000 miles away, but every member of the Tea Party looks like a thug and a racist to him.
If and when British Petroleum seals the oil leak at the bottom of the ocean, I hope they turn their attention to the current administration, which is leaking money at a record pace. What’s more, I am in favor of their using mud, rubber tires or tar and feathers, just so long as it stops Obama, Pelosi and Reid, before they squander more.
If you have ever wondered if the MSM is really as biased as people like Bernard Goldberg and I claim, you merely have to compare the way they covered the flooding of New Orleans in 2005 and the way they, not to mention Obama, ignored the flooding of Nashville this year. Aside from the fact that the earlier disaster affected a city with a population that was 61% black and the Nashville flood affected a city in which only a quarter of the population was black, one would be hard-pressed to explain why the one in Louisiana was treated as if it were a tragedy of biblical proportions, while the deluge in Tennessee’s capital received the equivalent of a TV weatherman’s remarking that humidity had reached 100% in Nashville.
The first time I heard that a huge mosque was going to be erected on the site of Ground Zero, I remember waiting for the punch line. The next few times I heard the news, I assumed I was having a nightmare and would soon be awake. Now I can only shake my head at the insanity. What’s next? A statue of Osama bin Laden on Capitol Hill? As I understand it, it’s supposed to be a tribute of some sort to decent Muslims. My question is, how many times are we going to honor Islam? I would have thought that electing a guy named Barack Hussein Obama a scant seven years after the barbarians murdered 3,000 Americans was more than enough.
Speaking of the president, I recently saw a bumper-sticker that read: What do Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common? They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
But I suppose 2010 is no time to be asking for a reality check. After all, three of the people who were most directly responsible for the economic meltdown — Obama, Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank — are the same three mugs who insist they’re going to safeguard the American economy by making sure there are no restrictions on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac!
Inasmuch as I reside in a state that keeps electing people like Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Henry Waxman, Maxine Waters and Brad Sherman, I realize I am not in the best position to throw stones, but will somebody please explain how it is that Barney Frank, who looks and sounds exactly like Elmer Fudd, keeps getting re-elected by the folks in Massachusetts. Where’s Bugs Bunny when you really need him?
Finally, proving that stupidity is no impediment to making a billion dollars, Ted Turner recently surmised that the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico could very well mean that God doesn’t want us to drill offshore. He added that the recent mine disaster strongly suggested that the Lord is also tired of our digging for coal. The interviewer, CNN’s Poppy Harlow, who is perhaps harboring the dream of some day being Mrs. Poppy Turner, didn’t bother asking the amateur theologian if the deaths and destruction caused by hurricanes and cyclones indicate that God also doesn’t want us to employ wind power, and if skin cancer tells us all we need to know about how He feels about solar energy.
If only 80-proof bourbon could be used as a substitute for oil, we’d only have to hook up some wires to Mr. Turner and we’d soon be free of our dependence on the black gooey stuff.
I must confess that every time I hear Turner bloviate, I’m grateful that he and Hanoi Jane didn’t have any children. One can only imagine that the attending physician in the delivery room would have been Dr. Frankenstein.
copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky
Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine.