by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles
Where Can I Buy Aldactone, Periodically, I find that my random thoughts begin to pile up and threaten to overflow from the dusty attic I call my brain. At such times, I have to decide whether to wrap them up and pass them off as gifts or place them curbside for the trash collectors. Inasmuch as we are fast-approaching Christmas season, try to consider the following remarks with the same equanimity you do those holiday fruitcakes that keep showing up on your doorstep year after year.
To begin with, could somebody please explain why they keep churning out one version of "The Christmas Carol" after another? Now, 30mg Aldactone, I have nothing against Charles Dickens' little fable and, 500mg Aldactone, in fact, back in the third grade I portrayed Tiny Tim in a class production that is still spoken of in hushed tones. But isn't enough ever enough? This December, Jim Carrey is taking a crack at Ebenezer Scrooge. The question is why. In the years since the 1914 silent film starring Charles Rock, Aldactone uk, there have been over 50 versions produced for either TV or the movies. Six Oscar winners -- Michael Caine, 100mg Aldactone, Albert Finney, Fredric March, Walter Matthau, 250mg Aldactone, Jack Palance and George C. 150mg Aldactone, Scott -- have bah-humbugged their way through the part, and another four Oscar nominees -- John Carradine, Basil Rathbone, Aldactone overseas, James Whitmore and Sir Ralph Richardson -- have given it a go, Aldactone australia, while a fifth, James Earl Jones, had to settle for merely narrating a version, Aldactone usa.
Next on the agenda is the recent election in New York's 23rd congressional district. That was the race in which ACORN's favorite "Republican, Aldactone mexico, " Dierdre Scozzafava, dropped out at the last minute, throwing her support to the Democratic candidate, 750mg Aldactone, Bill Owens, Aldactone ebay, who managed to defeat Doug Hoffman, a conservative candidate with the personality and verbal skills of a guppy, by a scant three percent. Interestingly, 10mg Aldactone, nearly six percent of the goofballs in upper state New York trooped out and cast their votes for non-candidate Scozzafava. Which strongly suggests that when Mr. Aldactone paypal, Owens goes to Washington, he should rent, not buy, 200mg Aldactone.
In the wake of GOP gubernatorial victories that same day in Virginia and New Jersey, Nancy Pelosi bragged that Owens had won in a district that had elected one Republican after another ever since the Civil War. As usual, she lied. Although the area has been gerrymandered any number of times over the years, Republicans haven't been elected with any regularity even since the Vietnam War. In fact, 11 of the past 15 representatives from the district have been Democrats, Where Can I Buy Aldactone.
Speaking of House Speaker Pelosi, Aldactone coupon, do you think she would be quite so determined to shove Obamacare down our throats if members of Congress had to live under the same system as the rest of us? Do you think for even one minute that she would agree to a health care plan that rationed plastic surgery.
For that matter, can you imagine Obama's Hollywood groupies supporting cap and trade if it meant they could no longer gad about in private jets, 1000mg Aldactone, Hummers and limousines or had to turn off the air-conditioning in their palatial villas. Aldactone canada, Recently, I came across a quote by one of the better Scrooges, Ralph Richardson: "I have put on so many make-ups that sometimes I have feared that when I go to wipe it off, 20mg Aldactone, there will be nobody left underneath." When you couple that notion with the fear some camera-shy aborigines have about their souls being stolen when their pictures are taken, Aldactone us, I think we all have a clearer idea of why people like Whoopi Goldberg, George Clooney, Julia Roberts and Sean Penn, Aldactone india, say the nutty things they do. 40mg Aldactone, That brings us to Barack Obama, who's never seen a TV camera or a teleprompter he didn't lust after. Come to think of it, it's too bad that his administration isn't a TV show. If it were, Aldactone japan, we could at least hope it would be canceled after one season instead of four. Where Can I Buy Aldactone, In case you missed it, he recently lifted the HIV Treatment and Immigration Ban, thus throwing open our borders to the diseased of the world, including that part of the world where many men believe that AIDS can be cured by having sex with young female virgins. But, really, who amongst us hasn't at one time or another entertained the notion that what America really needs is an influx of foreigners with highly infectious diseases requiring really expensive, taxpayer-subsidized, health care. 50mg Aldactone, Finally, allow me to introduce you to Diane Metcalf-Leggette, a first year student at Princeton, Aldactone craiglist, who is demanding that she be allotted twice as much time to take tests as her classmates. It's her contention that she suffers from four separate learning disabilities; namely, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, mixed receptive-expressive language disorder, disorder of written expression and developmental coordination disorder. These conditions, according to her complaint, hinder her ability to process information and communicate in writing.
Well, heaven knows I'm as sympathetic as the next fellow when it comes to those poor souls cursed with mixed receptive-expressive language disorder, a group that I assume includes Barbara Boxer, Robert Byrd and Henry Waxman, but, frankly, I find myself in a muddle. I believe, by the way, that my condition is known in medical circles as the hopeless search for common sense in a world gone mad disorder.
For instance, in spite of my best efforts to ward them off, a number of questions come to mind and refuse to leave. One, I ask myself what is this doofus doing at Princeton; two, what would she do with a degree even if they gave her a month and a half to take each and every test for the next four years; and, three, what the heck is a person with her particular problems doing carting around a name containing 20 letters and a hyphen? CRO
copyright 2009 Burt Prelutsky
Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..
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