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Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

No RX Celexa, Lately, you have probably noticed that Mayor Michael Bloomberg has taken to lecturing the rest of us on tolerance.  I call it presumptuous, as well as ill-timed.  It's presumptuous because he believes that he, alone, is in a position to tell Americans how we should feel about a massive mosque being built next to Ground Zero, as if being wealthy and an elected official somehow provided him with a moral superiority that we mere mortals could never hope to match.

I call it ill-timed because I, and I suspect millions of others, 100mg Celexa, have gotten sick and tired of being told it's our duty to be tolerant of the foolish, Celexa australia, the greedy and, ironically, those most committed to intolerance, 30mg Celexa.

Over the past decade or so, 200mg Celexa, we have had homosexuals demand same-sex marriages, self-righteously comparing themselves to blacks during the bad days of slavery and Jim Crow; we've had illegal aliens claim they're entitled to everything that goes with citizenship, including education, 50mg Celexa, medical care and even voting rights; we've had Muslims insist that they've every right to be taxi drivers even though they refuse to pick up blind people if they're accompanied by seeing eye dogs and entitled to work in supermarkets even though they refuse to sell alcohol or pork products; and, Celexa coupon, lest you forget, we have enemy combatants who have never worn a uniform or fought under a national flag insisting they're protected by the Geneva Conventions and the U.S. Constitution, 750mg Celexa.

Mayor Bloomberg, Celexa india, being a liberal, naturally has sawdust for brains and chutzpah to burn.  Left-wingers are convinced that if you make nice with your sworn enemies, they'll see the error of their ways.  They're the same folks who discipline their young by giving them time-outs.  That consists of the spoiled tots being sent off to their rooms, 20mg Celexa, rooms that quite often resemble a Toys R Us warehouse.  The predictable results of this approach to parenting are all those noisy little brats running wild, Celexa canada, with impunity, in shops, schools and restaurants, Celexa ebay.

In other news, the American taxpayer spent $50 billion bailing out G.M., ensuring that Obama could continue to count on a constant flow of UAW contributions to the DNC.  Obama, you may recall, even went so far as firing the company's CEO and replacing him with a government bureaucrat who could barely tell the difference between a carburetor and a carbuncle.  Now, GM has announced its plan to invest $50 million in its Ramos Arizpe plant, in northern Mexico, in order to produce a new line of engines.  It will lead, the company claims, to the creation of 390 jobs.  Unfortunately, those jobs will be in the state of Coahuila, not Michigan, No RX Celexa.

Recently, Celexa overseas, while watching the Bill O'Reilly show, I heard substitute host Laura Ingraham, one of my favorite conservative pundits, 500mg Celexa, mention her children.  That led me to wonder who her husband was, Celexa usa, so I paid a visit to the Internet.  It seems the lady has never been married, and that the children were adopted, the girl from Guatemala, Celexa us, the boy from Russia. 250mg Celexa, Although Ms. Ingraham has never walked down the aisle, she has twice been engaged -- first to conservative writer Dinesh D'Souza and then to businessman James Reyes.  But as I read on, 1000mg Celexa, I discovered that she had had meaningful relationships with the former Democratic senator from New Jersey, 40mg Celexa, Robert Torricelli and with -- hold on to your hat. -- MSNBC's Keith Olbermann. No RX Celexa, At first, I, too, was shocked.  But perhaps it was those very relationships that made her the staunch conservative she is today.  Frankly, I think spending even just an hour with Olbermann would be enough to make Howard Dean rush out and change his party registration.

Maybe because I'm lucky enough to be married to someone who shares all of my political beliefs, 10mg Celexa, I can't imagine being connected to someone who shares none of them.  I could never even grasp how Richard Nixon and Hubert Humphrey could be great friends, 150mg Celexa, unless all they ever talked about was baseball.  And for the life of me, I can't begin to think of Mary Matalin and James Carville except in terms of a TV sitcom.  I mean, how is it possible that professional operatives for opposing political parties can get through a single day with neither one taking an axe to the other, Celexa japan.

It is to Ms. Celexa craiglist, Ingraham's everlasting credit that Olbermann has called her the Worst Person in the World nearly as often as he has labeled Carl Rove, Dick Cheney and George Bush as such.  It is, interestingly enough, Celexa paypal, an insult he has bestowed on Mahmud Ahmadinejad only twice, Celexa uk, and one of those times I believe it was for committing the fashion faux pas of wearing a windbreaker to the U.N.

But you would think that even a knucklehead like Olbermann would understand that there can only be one worst person in the world, just as there can only be one tallest person, Celexa mexico, one oldest person and, yes, even one biggest knucklehead.

Finally, I want to know how Bradley Manning, a mere PFC, managed to access all the thousands of pages of classified documents that Wikileaks has posted on its traitorous site.

The only scenario I have been able to come up with is that one morning, the top sergeant entered the barracks and announced, "I need a dozen of you on latrine duty, seven of you for KP, and you, Manning, you'll be in charge of swiping state secrets."


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Saturday, September 4th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Buy Avodart No Prescription, In all the old horror movies, the master villain always had an assistant.  More often that not, his name was Igor.  He tended to lurch and he was usually a hunchback. I always wondered how he got the job.  I mean, how would you go about finding someone who'd round up a human brain at a moment's notice?  Was it by referral?  Did they hook up during Career Day at the Academy for the Criminally Insane?  Did he answer an ad in the New York Times. 30mg Avodart, Nowadays, I ask similar questions regarding politicians.  Who put them up to it?  What made a harridan like Nancy Pelosi ever think that people would actually vote for her?  And how was it that Harry Reid, a pickle puss who looks and sounds like he was born to play Uriah Heep, ever imagined he'd carve out a successful career in a profession that, 750mg Avodart, at the very least, usually requires a modicum of charm and civility. 50mg Avodart, Speaking of mysteries, why is it that Obama's approval numbers remain in double digits?  Here's a guy who not only lied about uniting blacks and whites, young and old, liberals and conservatives, 10mg Avodart, but lied to his own base about shutting down Gitmo, providing illegal aliens with a general amnesty and getting rid of the military policy of "Don't ask/ Don't tell."

On top of all that, Avodart mexico, what, I wonder, did you all make of his recent declaration that the U.S. and Iran have mutual interests in Afghanistan?  Are he and Mahmud Ahmadinejad planning to co-produce "Karzai!  The Musical!" on Broadway?  And what comes next, Avodart overseas, an announcement that Russia and the U.S. have mutual interests in Czechoslovakia, Georgia and Poland, Buy Avodart No Prescription.

To give you an example of how smitten the loonies on the left are when it comes to Obama, Avodart coupon, members of the UAW gave him an ovation when he said that Ford's adding workers at its Chicago plant was proof that his bailing out Chrysler and GM saved the auto industry.  As my friend, Don Melquist, a retired ironworker observed:  "That's like suggesting that Ford, which rejected the bail-out, 100mg Avodart, wouldn't be selling so many cars if Chevys and Chryslers weren't also available.  Obama might as well say that people would stop buying Pizza Hut pizzas if Dominos closed its doors."

I don't know where Barack Obama studied economics, but I suspect the teaching staff consisted of Saul Alinsky and Tim Geithner, Avodart ebay, along with tenured professors Larry, Moe and Curly.

Other current heroes on the left include Shirley Sherrod and Michael Bloomberg.  It appears now that Mrs. Sherrod, 40mg Avodart, who suffered the hardship of being unemployed for about 30 minutes before receiving a phone call from the president offering her Joe Biden's job, is not quite as saintly as she's been portrayed. 20mg Avodart, Ron Wilkins, a liberal black civil rights leader, infiltrated the New Communities farm commune back in the mid-70s. Buy Avodart No Prescription,  It was a commune managed by Shirley and her husband, Charles.  Among other things, Wilkins discovered that the black work force, which included a great many children, were paid an average of 67 cents-an-hour, were constantly exposed to pesticides, were often forced to work at night, and were fired if they complained.

For good measure, 200mg Avodart, Cesar Chavez's far left-wing United Farm Workers joined in the condemnation of the Sherrods and their so-called commune.

When it comes to hypocrites, Avodart craiglist, you would think we had already reached the saturation point.  But the way the left keeps churning them out like sausage links, I can only imagine that some very odd place I've never heard of, and never wish to visit, must have a large standing order, 500mg Avodart.

Consider Michael Bloomberg, if you will.  Here's a man who, Avodart paypal, combining the mental agility of a Joy Behar with the eloquence of Barney Fife, has taken it upon himself to teach Americans in general, and New Yorkers specifically, what religious tolerance is all about.  Even though he's the mayor of the city where Muslims slaughtered nearly 3, Avodart canada,000 innocent Americans, he has given the Bloomberg seal of approval to the erection of a gigantic Islamic mosque next to Ground Zero. Avodart us, It would be bad enough if the mayor was merely a run-of-the-mill left-wing moron.  But according to the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, Bloomberg's self-hyped ecumenical spirit has its limits.

For instance, Bloomberg has consistently opposed putting a nativity scene alongside a menorah in New York City's public schools, Buy Avodart No Prescription.

In 2007, when an "artist" created a huge vulgar "Chocolate Jesus" and sought to place it in a street-level gallery during Holy Week, 1000mg Avodart, Bloomberg, when asked about it, Avodart uk, voiced no objection.

He also maintained his silence when Anthony Malkin, owner of the Empire State Building, decided not to join with other skyscraper owners in a tribute to Mother Teresa, Avodart usa.

Finally, when a federal district court ruled that the Bronx-based Household of Faith, Avodart india, an inner-city Christian church, had the right to hold religious services on Sundays in a New York City school, Bloomberg's administration sued to block the ruling.

In George Orwell's "Animal Farm, 250mg Avodart," the evil pig, Napoleon, Avodart australia, declares that under his rule, all the animals are equal, but eventually gets around to pointing out that some animals are more equal than others.

Now, 150mg Avodart, far be it from me to call the mayor a pig.  However, I've always felt that if it grunts like a pig, Avodart japan, rolls around in mud like a pig and answers to "sooey, sooey, sooey," the chances are you could safely stick an apple in its mouth, pop it in the oven and invite the Crachits over for Christmas dinner.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Aldactone For Sale

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Those on the left Aldactone For Sale, have made every attempt to tar those on the right as racists.  They have done it so often and so ineptly that by now I doubt if even the rabid likes of Chris Matthews, Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow, take it seriously.

As far back as last March, 150mg Aldactone, when the Tea Party members gathered in Washington to voice their objection to ObamaCare, we all saw the way the liberals choreographed the event in order to make the patriots appear hostile to blacks.  It was so simplistic, I assume that either Rahm Emanuel or David Axelrod came up with the plan.  It consisted of having only the pinheads from the Black Congressional Caucus enter the House by the front steps while Nancy Pelosi and her white colleagues all snuck in using the tunnel, 40mg Aldactone.

The leftists counted on the Tea Partiers employing racial invective, 10mg Aldactone, and when that didn't happen they simply lied and said it had.  They insisted that Emmanuel Cleaver had been spat upon and that the infamous n-word had been hurled at John Lewis 15 times.  Oddly enough, even when a $100,000 reward was posted for visual or audio confirmation, Aldactone canada, not even Keith Olbermann or Ellis Henican stepped forward to claim the prize. 20mg Aldactone, I'm not suggesting that there were no catcalls from the crowd, but does anyone, including Juan Williams, 200mg Aldactone, believe the catcalls wouldn't have been even louder and more pointed if Nancy Pelosi or Henry Waxman had dared run the gauntlet of outraged, Aldactone uk, over-burdened, tax-paying patriots?  But of course even if Pelosi and Waxman had shown their faces, the lap dog media would have condemned the Tea Party members as a pack of misogynistic anti-Semites, Aldactone mexico.

Speaking of the left-wing media, Aldactone us, I believe I've finally figured out the explanation for Marc Lamont Hill's frequent appearances on Bill O'Reilly's show.  He serves to make Alan Colmes seem almost rational.

The media, together with the DNC, have taken advantage of Obama's race to insist that all objections to his radical agenda are the result of racism.  What they fail to deal with is how it was that 52% of American voters, all of whom knew his racial makeup, cast their votes for him in 2008, while if the election were held today, the polls indicate that he would lose if he were running against Romney, Gingrich and Huckabee, and be in a dead-heat with Palin, Aldactone For Sale.

Another fact that refutes the claims that anti-Obama sentiment is race-based is that his personal approval numbers are significantly higher than those regarding his policies.  Feeling as I do about his character, I'm at a loss to explain the dichotomy, Aldactone overseas, but perhaps a lot of people can't help but empathize with his pathetic efforts on the golf course. 1000mg Aldactone, The truth is, the man who vowed to be our first post-racial president, has proven to be the most racial president since Wilson.  But whereas Wilson, 50mg Aldactone, who remains a hero to  liberals, 30mg Aldactone, was blatantly anti-black, Obama has shown his own true colors in the opposite direction.  In his first 18 months, he has played the race card in connection with the Cambridge police incident; in defending the openly racist Eric Holder; and in refusing to prosecute the New Black Panthers for voter intimidation.  What's more, Aldactone japan, in his constant pandering to the left-wing NAACP, Aldactone paypal, ACORN and the SEIU, he has gone overboard in expressing his appreciation for the 91% of the vote blacks handed him in his campaigns against both John McCain and Hillary Clinton.

I happen to think that Obama's decision to sue Arizona over its anti-illegal alien bill was a political miscalculation of enormous proportions.  For one thing, Aldactone australia, most Americans -- and I'm going out on a limb and include Democrats and even Hispanics who are here legally -- don't like the idea of the president of 50 states using the authority of the federal government to attack one of them.  He's not a schoolmarm and he has no business making Arizona sit in the corner as if it were a recalcitrant child.  What's next, 250mg Aldactone, a  redesigned flag with just 49 stars.

Judge Bolton ruled exactly as one would expect a Clinton appointee to rule.  Common sense would say that when the federal government refuses to enforce its constitutional obligation to defend our borders, thus forcing the individual states to do so on their own, Aldactone usa, it verges on lunacy to rule on the side of the feds.  But, Aldactone craiglist, obviously, when Obama says, "I know it's my job, Aldactone india, but I refuse to do it, Aldactone coupon, " he can expect nothing but high-fives from the corrupt media, Hispanic racists and agenda-driven judges.

The fact of the matter is that, Aldactone ebay, by a wide majority, 750mg Aldactone, Americans don't believe it is either moral or even possible to deport the millions of people who are already here illegally, but they want a very high wall -- perhaps even a double wall, with an alligator-infested moat in between -- erected at the border.  After that, 500mg Aldactone, reasonable people can decide on the status and future of those already here.  But any other policy (aka "comprehensive immigration reform") would be premature, 100mg Aldactone, and would only play into the hands of Democrats trolling for votes, unions trolling for additional dues and Republicans trolling for the next best thing to slave labor.  So, to paraphrase President Reagan, I say, "Put up the wall, Mr. Obama."

A bonus is that the remainder of the stimulus money could finally be spent on what Obama promised us when he picked our pockets for the trillion dollars back in 2009; namely, shovel-ready jobs.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Buy Plavix No Prescription

Friday, August 27th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Buy Plavix No Prescription, Every so often, one of my readers who has apparently dipped once too often into the cooking sherry wonders why I don't run for Congress.  The short answer is that I don't want to ever again wear a necktie.  I also don't wish to spend my life going hat-in-hand begging for campaign contributions.  Worse yet, what if I actually won the election and then had to listen to Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank mouth off endlessly?  Between her nursery school delivery and his lisping, I'm sure I'd soon be popping Excedrin like peanuts. 40mg Plavix, Instead, I prefer staying home and telling everybody in Washington how to do their jobs better.  So, Plavix paypal, 20mg Plavix, for openers, I would make it a law that every bill would contain only a single item.  No more piling on.  No more legislation that contains, 10mg Plavix, Plavix usa, say, funding for the military with tax dollars for ACORN or an unnecessary bridge or airport named after some partisan hack.  As things stand now, Plavix uk, 500mg Plavix, every appropriations bill comes loaded with a ton of political pork.  When called on it, the weasels in both parties get to say, Plavix canada, Plavix us, "Well, I had to support the troops, 100mg Plavix, Plavix overseas, didn't I?"

Conservatives who automatically deny that the Arizona immigration law is racially-based are lying.  Of course it is, in just the same way that a border wall would be.  How can it not be when the millions of people who have snuck into the U.S, 150mg Plavix. Plavix australia, are all Hispanics?  It makes as much sense to deny that the war on terrorism is directed at Islamics.  The problem is that those who favor open borders accuse the rest of us of being racists.  That's the big lie they love to promote.  Americans, after all, 50mg Plavix, Plavix japan, have no trouble living and working with Hispanics who are here legally.

If the illegals pouring in were Swedes, 1000mg Plavix, Plavix ebay, Germans or Poles, our opposition, Plavix india, 30mg Plavix, which is based on principles and the law, would be the same.  The difference is that the very same hypocrites who favor open borders today are the ones who would change their tune overnight if the aliens weren't Hispanic.  The ugly, Plavix mexico, Plavix coupon, but unvarnished, truth is that they're the racists, 750mg Plavix. Plavix craiglist, Of course the number one racist in America is the fellow who spent 20 years soaking up Rev. Jeremiah Wright's vicious attacks on white Americans.  It's probably not a coincidence that Barack Obama is also the biggest liar who's ever sat in the Oval Office.  In fact, if his nose grew like Pinocchio's every time he told a fib, they probably would have had to leave Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd in the wings in order to make room for the presidential shnoz on "The View."

The latest proof that in looking for a role model, Obama snubbed George Washington and patterned himself, instead, on a used car salesman was his announcement that he was "surprised, disappointed and angry" when Scotland released Lockerbie bomber Abdel al-Magrahi.  It seems that Richard LeBaron, Obama's deputy head of the U.S, Buy Plavix No Prescription. embassy in London let Scotland know a week ahead of the event that the U.S, 250mg Plavix. 200mg Plavix, preferred that Magrahi receive compassionate release than that he be locked up in a Libyan prison for what was supposed to be the final few weeks of his life.  The only surprise is that apparently the change in climate did wonders for his health, and Magrahi is now expected to live at least another ten years.

The U.S. government had tried to keep LeBaron's letter secret on the alleged grounds that it would prevent "frank and open communications with other governments."  I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like a married man begging his mistress not to spill the beans, lest it prevent future frank and open communications with his wife.

According to Bedford Fall's George Bailey, every time a bell rang, an angel got his wings.  If it worked the same way with lies, an entire division of angels would owe a debt of eternal gratitude to the prevaricator-in-chief.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Where Can I Buy Avodart

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Where Can I Buy Avodart, When it comes to liberals, there are simply not enough hours in a day for one person to record all of their mischief.  Speaking for myself, even if I had a staff the size of Mrs. Obama, I'd probably still fall behind, 1000mg Avodart.

For instance, Avodart ebay, liberals love to pretend that "separation of church and state" appears in the Constitution, although I'm sure that most of them are aware that the words only appeared in a letter that Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association.  What's more, they in no way contradicted the First Amendment, 30mg Avodart, which merely prohibited the federal government from establishing a state religion, Avodart mexico, such as existed in England. But on the other hand, when attacking the Second Amendment on the grounds that the Founders only wanted guns in the hands of "a well regulated militia, Avodart paypal," those same liberals never bother mentioning that it was Jefferson who said "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms" and "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, 100mg Avodart, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

Next, I hope that once all the primaries are over, 20mg Avodart, conservatives will suck it up and vote for the victorious Republican candidate in November.  I know it won't always be easy, Avodart usa, but it is essential that Nancy Pelosi loses the speakership, and the only way that happens is if the Democrats lose control of the House.

I'm aware that on a few occasions over the past 18 months, 40mg Avodart, a few Republicans have lost their minds and voted with the liberals.  In one case, Avodart us, it was the two ditzy women from Maine, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, voting for the stimulus bill.  More recently, 200mg Avodart, Scott Brown, 500mg Avodart, who is the closest thing to a Republican who could have gotten elected in Massachusetts, joined the two ladies to vote for Obama's financial regulation bill.  It disgusted me as much as anyone that the three New Englanders jumped ship to aid and abet the enemy, but at least they have voted the right way more often than not, 750mg Avodart, which is more than you could expect of the Democrats they defeated in their last elections.

It's not just that liberals all vote the wrong way, but when it comes to sheer, blatant ignorance, you can't beat them when they get up a head of steam.  Rep, Where Can I Buy Avodart. 50mg Avodart, Sheila Jackson Lee, for instance, claimed there were two Vietnams existing peacefully side-by-side, Avodart canada, North and South Vietnam.  Of course even if there were two such nations, Avodart overseas, we'd know them as East and West Vietnam.  When the error was called to her attention, she naturally said she'd misspoken.

I guess it's thanks to omnipresent technology that when they put their stupidity on display these days, Avodart uk, politicians no longer insist they've been misquoted.  Now, Avodart craiglist, thanks to videos, open mikes and cell phone cameras, they have instead to insist that their lies, 10mg Avodart, gaffes and absurdities, 250mg Avodart, are all the result of misspeaking.

So it was that when Rep. Hank Johnson claimed to be worried that the island of Guam might tip over if too many American servicemen were stationed there, 150mg Avodart, he quickly explained that he'd misspoken, Avodart australia, as did Wisconsin state supervisor Peggy West after she'd taken Arizona to task for its immigration bill when, as she insisted, it doesn't even share a border with Mexico, Avodart coupon. Where Can I Buy Avodart, There are subtler forms of stupidity on the Left.  We have Barack Obama declaring a six-month moratorium on off-shore drilling, thus doing everything in his power to destroy the Gulf's economy, while at the same time refusing to drill in Alaska or the lower 48, and, for good measure, sending two billion dollars to Brazil to help them finance, of all things, off-shore drilling.

To take liberal stupidity to its logical extreme, Avodart india, we have Barack Obama, Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank, three of the schmoes most responsible for causing the financial meltdown, Avodart japan, concocting a 2,500-page financial regulation bill.  When someone asked me if I thought the three stooges had actually read the bill, I said I was certain that they had at least carefully scanned it.  After all, how else could they be certain that their favorite lending institutions, the infamous Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, would be excluded from any and all regulations.

Next on Obama's agenda is likely to be cap and trade, which would do to American energy what British Petroleum did to Louisiana's pelicans.  Considering that Obama recently appointed that eminent proponent of wealth distribution, Dr. Donald Berwick, to oversee Medicare and Medicaid, I assume he will appoint Fred Flintstone to be energy czar.

Finally, no dirty laundry list of moronic liberals would be complete without Nevada's number one sourpuss.  It was Harry Reid who insisted that although it was possible, though highly unlikely, that somewhere there might be illegal aliens working in the construction trade, it certainly wasn't happening in his home state.

In a related story, the Senate majority leader also announced that there were no hookers in Las Vegas.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Augmentin For Sale

Sunday, August 22nd, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

I have long been intrigued Augmentin For Sale, with the final words uttered by those on their actual or figurative deathbeds.  The trouble, of course, is that you never know if the words were spontaneous or rehearsed, whether they were really spoken aloud or were conjured up after the fact by someone who hoped to gain for himself a piece of anonymous immortality by acting as a  giving-up-the-ghost writer. 30mg Augmentin, While I have no way of vouching for their authenticity, I regard the following farewells as among the most memorable, Augmentin overseas. 10mg Augmentin, Henry Ward Beecher said, "Now comes the mystery, Augmentin japan, Augmentin coupon, " although I would have thought "Now comes the solution to the mystery" the more appropriate assumption on the part of the notable preacher.

Heinrich Heine, 100mg Augmentin, Augmentin uk, a rather presumptuous fellow even for a German poet, insisted, 50mg Augmentin, Augmentin canada, "God will pardon me.  It is his trade."

Humphrey Bogart mused, "I should have never switched from Scotch to martinis, 500mg Augmentin, Augmentin usa, " although a wiser decision regarding his vices would have been to kick the nicotine habit before it kicked him.

Luther Burbank, 1000mg Augmentin, Augmentin craiglist, the noted horticulturist, might have been expected to come up with something a little more flowery than "I don't feel good" if he had only known how just far from good he really felt, 200mg Augmentin.

Dylan Thomas, who seems to have been a rather competitive sort of fellow for a sot, boasted, "I have just had 18 whiskeys in a row.  I do believe that is a record."

Robert E, Augmentin For Sale. Augmentin australia, Lee, a military genius who never wasted ammunition or words, Augmentin mexico, 150mg Augmentin, took his leave with the brisk "Strike the tent."

Another Civil War general, John Sedgwick, Augmentin india, Augmentin paypal, while commanding Union forces at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse, put southern snipers in their place by telling his cowering troops, 750mg Augmentin, Augmentin ebay, "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance" a moment before they put him in his final resting place.  It was Gen. Sedgwick's misfortune that the Rebs didn't happen to be hunting elephants that day, 20mg Augmentin. Augmentin us, Oscar Wilde confessed that he and his wallpaper were fighting a duel to the death and "One or the other of us has to go."  Alas, the wallpaper won and got to hang around a while longer, 250mg Augmentin. 40mg Augmentin, When a French priest urged Voltaire, a committed atheist to renounce Satan, the old philosopher replied, "This is no time to make new enemies."

A very witty line, but in strictly practical terms, it's hard to beat convicted murderer James W. Bridges, who, when asked if he had a final request before facing a firing squad, replied, "Why, yes, a bulletproof vest."

Still, when it comes to send-offs, you'd have a go a long way to top the one that Charlotte McCourt's family came up with recently.  After the passing of the longtime Nevada resident, her children published an obituary that read: "We believe that mom would say she was mortified to have taken a large role in the election of Harry Reid to the U.S. Congress.  Let the record show that Charlotte was displeased with his work.  Please, in lieu of flowers, vote for another more worthy candidate."

In my own case, I plan to get to work immediately on some amusing, yet profound and touching, final words.  My greatest fear is that before having the opportunity to deliver them, I will slip in the shower and in that nano-second prior to fatally conking my head on the porcelain, I will take leave of the world with an inexcusably trite "Whoops!"


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Discount Vpxl

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Discount Vpxl, The worst thing about the oil leak, assuming you don't live and work in the Gulf, was having to keep viewing the same stuff on TV day in and day out for months on end.  It got so bad, I began seeing the undersea footage, the oily pelican and Thad Allen, in my dreams.

Speaking of Mr. 1000mg Vpxl, Allen, if he's retired from the Coast Guard, why does he get to wear his uniform on camera?  I always thought veterans only got to take their uniforms out of mothballs for parades.  Apparently, 500mg Vpxl, Mr. Vpxl uk, Allen wears his to the supermarket.

With the 24/7 media attention that's been devoted to the ecological disaster, it is easy to regard the leak as the worst thing that's ever happened to the environment.  But even now it only ranks as about the 35th worst oil spill in the past hundred years.  Something else that we should not lose sight of is that the Gulf is a magnet for hurricanes, 10mg Vpxl, just as California is one for earthquakes and New York City is one for Islamic terrorists.  That means that bad stuff is always going to be happening and if people are going to live in such places, Vpxl mexico, they have to accept the risks.  British Petroleum will not always be around to pay for the cleanup.

The leak has led to Obama's declaring a 6-month moratorium on deep sea drilling, which should pretty much finish off the Gulf's economy for the foreseeable future, unless Judge Feldman's ruling stands.  On the other hand, our president did send $2 billion to Brazil to help finance deep-sea oil exploration by Petrobar, a company in which George Soros had recently invested.  And, yes, Brazil is the very same country that recently joined with Turkey in proclaiming its alignment with Iran's Mahmud Ahmadinejad, Discount Vpxl.

A lot has been said and written about Obama's handling of the crisis.  None of it has been good.  Even some of his erstwhile acolytes have taken him to task.  I can understand their disillusionment.  The man did announce, after all, 750mg Vpxl, that with his election, Vpxl usa, the earth would be healed and the oceans would recede, and nary a word about oil pollution.  The magnitude of the leak has certainly confirmed that BP knew what it was doing when it sank a well there.  Unfortunately, the leak also emphasizes how stubborn and short-sighted Congress has been in its refusal to drill in Alaska or anywhere else that is currently inhabited by caribou, 40mg Vpxl, jackrabbits, Vpxl ebay, elk, snakes or snails.

The fact is, 250mg Vpxl, Obama has brought it all on himself.  When he was courting us, 100mg Vpxl, he spoke of transparency and of uniting the right and the left; he rhapsodized about a post-racial America and an America that would be respected around the world.  Well, I guess we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves if we bought the lies.  Even someone as bright and successful as Sandra Bullock fell for Jesse James' line of bull hockey.

I almost feel sorry for the president.  I mean, Vpxl japan, it must seem as if God, 50mg Vpxl, Himself, is pulling the rug out from under him.  After all, it was only five years ago that all the left-wing creeps, Vpxl canada, including Obama, 200mg Vpxl, were mugging George Bush over his handling of a natural disaster and, suddenly, we have Obama tripping over his own feet in the same general area, Vpxl australia.

Understand, 150mg Vpxl, I don't blame him for ignoring the disaster in the early days.  After all, the media had given him a pass for ignoring the recent flooding of Nashville.  They had ignored it, too.  But once the oil leak became bigger news than North Korea's sinking of a South Korean ship, Vpxl india, bigger news than the unholy Muslim flotilla and even bigger news than the arrest of Joran van der Sloot, Vpxl coupon, I would have assumed that Obama would have done all in his power to give the illusion of competence and concern.  Instead, he golfed and partied while Governor Jindal's request for material and equipment were ignored.  We had the Coast Guard ordering skimmer ships shut down because they didn't have a prescribed number of life jackets on board.  We had offers of assistance from Norway, Holland and 11 other nations, Vpxl paypal, being refused because of something called the Jones Act, 20mg Vpxl, for no other reason than that Obama didn't want to upset the maritime unions and their insistence that only ships flying the U.S. Discount Vpxl, flag -- and employing U.S. union crews. -- be allowed to function in U.S, Vpxl overseas. waters. 30mg Vpxl, The way I see it, British Petroleum was the perfect boogeyman for liberals.  After all, their executives owned yachts and either spoke with snooty English accents or referred to "small people."  Red meat, Vpxl us, indeed, Vpxl craiglist, for congressional committees chaired by the self-righteous likes of Henry ("I voted to continue funding ACORN because they do a lot of good work") Waxman.

The bonus is that BP has very deep pockets, so that Obama can grandstand and demand that the company pay everyone on the Gulf more money than they would have ever made renting motel rooms and fishing, Discount Vpxl.

After insisting that there will be a six-month moratorium on off-shore drilling, which would do far more long term damage than the oil leak, Obama then tried to turn the screws on BP, by insisting they pay all of the laid-off oil crews, not just those working for British Petroleum, for income he, himself, was causing them to lose.  Even BP finally had enough, and said they would pay their own workers, but not Exxon's or Shell's.

If Obama had gotten away with it, I'm sure he planned to solve America's unemployment ills by forcing BP to put the other 20 million out-of-work Americans on the company payroll.

I submit that there is one consolation for Barack Obama.  If much more crud is released into the Gulf of Mexico, this two-bit messiah might actually be able to walk on  water.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Kamagra For Sale

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

I saw a bumper sticker Kamagra For Sale, the other day that read, "Everyone who is in favor of abortion has already been born."  I'm not sure that's the best argument I've ever heard made by those opposed to the practice, but it did get me to thinking about other facts of modern life.

For instance, 40mg Kamagra, Kamagra coupon, the Supreme Court will soon determine whether it is an infringement of free speech if the members of the Westboro Baptist Church are prevented from demonstrating at the funerals of our fallen warriors.  What I find astonishing is that it is even a question that requires a Supreme Court ruling to stop these obscene lunatics from disrupting such solemn ceremonies.  What the heck ever happened to common sense and common decency, Kamagra overseas. Kamagra paypal, The bumper sticker also led me to consider the hypocrisy of those who favor affirmative action.  I'm not referring to the beneficiaries who obviously have a vested interest in taking advantage of race-based entitlements in order to leap-frog over better, more deserving, Kamagra mexico, 500mg Kamagra, students.  No, the folks I have in mind are white students, Kamagra ebay, Kamagra us, white professors, white politicians, 150mg Kamagra, 20mg Kamagra, white reporters, editors and political pundits.  No matter how loudly they trumpet their liberal rhetoric, Kamagra australia, 750mg Kamagra, I have never -- not once -- noticed any of them stepping aside so that a black or Hispanic student, professor, 50mg Kamagra, 10mg Kamagra, politician, reporter, Kamagra craiglist, Kamagra canada, editor or political pundit, can take his place, Kamagra japan. Kamagra uk, Instead, their role is to stand on the sidelines with a megaphone and a social engineering agenda, 250mg Kamagra, 100mg Kamagra, and tell others to sacrifice themselves in order to bring about this left-wing notion of Nirvana.  So long as nothing but good intentions is demanded of them, they promote the Marxist ideal: "From everyone according to his abilities to everyone according to his needs."  But that's only so long as it's everyone else, 200mg Kamagra. Kamagra india, God knows I can be as self-righteous as the next guy, assuming that the next guy isn't a liberal, 1000mg Kamagra, 30mg Kamagra, but there are few things that gall me quite as much as those nincompoops who show up any time a serial killer is about to be executed in order to hold a candlelight vigil outside a prison.

They're such a smug, Kamagra usa, sanctimonious bunch of ninnies, I'm always relieved when I fail to see my friends or relatives among them.  Invariably, I find myself thinking these loons should get a hobby, get a dog or get a life.  They so obviously believe they control the moral high ground, I just want to smack ‘em.

Short of that, I'd at least like to suggest another bumper sticker:  "Nobody who has ever demonstrated against capital punishment has ever been a murder victim.  (But there's still time.)"


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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Flexeril For Sale

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

Flexeril For Sale, Until recently, I had been totally unaware of Mohamed (Mo) Ibrahim's existence, and had never heard that, through his foundation, he funds the world's single largest cash award.

The Prize for Achievement in African Leadership bestows $500, Flexeril australia, Flexeril craiglist, 000-a-year for the first 10 years and $200,000-a-year for life thereafter to the African leader or former leader who delivers security, Flexeril coupon, 1000mg Flexeril, health, education and economic development to his constituents, 200mg Flexeril, Flexeril japan, and who democratically transfers power to his successor.

Mo Ibrahim, 30mg Flexeril, 20mg Flexeril, who is a Sudanese-born English mobile communications entrepreneur, is a billionaire, 150mg Flexeril, Flexeril uk, and can probably come up with the annual prize money by looking under the cushions on his couch.  However, in the years since he established the Prize in 2006, Flexeril us, Flexeril ebay, it has only been handed out twice.  Once it went to Joaquim Chissano of Mozambique, and once it went to Festus Mogae of Botswana.  But in spite of the fact that there are 34 nations in sub-Sahara Africa, 100mg Flexeril, Flexeril india, not to mention all those Arab and Muslim countries above the great desert, two years have gone by without a new honoree, 250mg Flexeril. 750mg Flexeril, That would indicate a couple of things to me.  First off, for all the lip service, 40mg Flexeril, 50mg Flexeril, not to mention foreign aid, paid out by the western nations to Africa, Flexeril usa, Flexeril canada, it's all been for naught.  The dark continent is pretty much one enormous cesspool of murder, tribalism and corruption, 500mg Flexeril. Flexeril paypal, What's more, Africa's thugs control 53 votes in the United Nations, Flexeril mexico, 10mg Flexeril, which dwarfs the number of votes the western democracies possess.  So much for the "international community," which left-wing lunatics are always claiming is, Flexeril overseas, rightfully, the world's moral arbiter.

Another thing I'm able to glean from the fact that not a single African leader has shown himself to be worthy of the Prize in the past two years is that even with all those millions of dollars being dangled before them, it's chump change compared to the amount they can steal running the show in Yemen, the Sudan, Kenya, and all the other ganglands.

Something else that occurred to me is that if there was a comparable prize for American leaders, it, too, would go begging.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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No RX Levaquin

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

by Burt Prelutsky | Los Angeles

I have heard No RX Levaquin, there are native tribes who refuse to be photographed because they fear the camera will snatch away their souls.  I used to wonder where they got that quirky idea, but that was a long time ago. Levaquin india, Since then, I have heard Carrie Fisher say, 150mg Levaquin, 200mg Levaquin, "Obama is brilliant.  The thing is, he's half-white, 40mg Levaquin, 50mg Levaquin, but that's not enough for the Tea Bag crowd.  For them, it's all white or (expletive deleted)-off!"

Sean Penn hopes his right-wing critics "die screaming of rectal cancer."

Julia Roberts pointed out that "Republican" in the dictionary comes just after "reptile" and just before "repugnant."

Susan Sarandon observed that "Sarah Palin's views are so limiting, Levaquin paypal, Levaquin mexico, they set the women's movement back years.  When you get a woman in government, you want the right woman.  You don't want just any vagina."

Michael Moore said: "I would like to apologize for referring to George W, 250mg Levaquin. Levaquin coupon, Bush as a ‘deserter.'  What I meant to say is that he is a deserter, an election thief, Levaquin canada, 20mg Levaquin, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, 500mg Levaquin, Levaquin craiglist, and a functional illiterate.  And he poops his pants."

Janeane Garofalo declared that the world was better off when the Soviet Union was a superpower, and, 750mg Levaquin, Levaquin japan, never satisfied to leave bad enough alone, went on to say, Levaquin uk, Levaquin ebay, "The reason a person is a conservative Republican is because something is wrong with them.  That's science -- that's neuroscience!"  About the folks in the Tea Party, she insisted, 10mg Levaquin, 100mg Levaquin, "It is all about having a black man in the White House.  This is racism straight up and they're nothing but a bunch of tea-bagging rednecks."

Joy Behar not only defended creepy Joe McGinniss's decision to purchase a house next door to the Palins, but seconded his comments comparing Palin's criticism to the behavior of Nazi storm troopers.  It reminded me of California gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown's comparing his opponent, 1000mg Levaquin, Levaquin us, Meg Whitman, to Hitler's minister of propaganda, 30mg Levaquin, Levaquin usa, Joseph Goebbels.  Is it just my imagination or do some people never give a second thought to Nazis or Islamic terrorists except when they're looking to compare Republicans to something bad.

Danny Glover, Levaquin australia, Levaquin overseas, who despises America and adores communism, blames global warming for the earthquake in Haiti.  Together with Steven Spielberg, Oliver Stone and Sean Penn, Glover is a charter member of the Fidel Castro/Hugo Chavez Fan Club.  Odd, isn't it, how these people subscribe to all things socialistic except when it comes to their paychecks.

According to George Clooney, "It started with the witch hunts in Salem.  The conservatives' point of view was ‘Burn them at the stake,' and the liberals' point of view was ‘There are no witches.'  And that's how it continued with the civil rights movement and women's suffrage.  The liberals were always right in the end."

Harry Belafonte slandered Condi Rice and Colin Powell, calling them house slaves.  He told Hugo Chavez that he and millions of his fellow Americans supported his Chilean revolution.  Then, for good measure, Belafonte called George W. Bush a terrorist, saying he was far worse than the jihadists responsible for 9/11, and labeled the Dept, No RX Levaquin. of Homeland Security America's Gestapo.

Rosie O'Donnell stuck up for Helen Thomas after the 89-year-old gargoyle told the Israelis to "get the hell out of Palestine" and go back to Poland and Germany.

It took me a good long time to realize that the tribesmen were correct in thinking the camera had a magical way of stealing people's souls, but, so far as I know, they remain unaware that it can also make off with their brains.


copyright 2010 Burt Prelutsky

Television scriptwriter, former humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine..

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